So empty

I just feel very empty these days.. so empty.. Just realize I haven't blog ever since for so long.. and yet there is nothing much to blog.. There's some little celebration around my birthday which kinda warm my heart.. and some little events here and there.. but overall it just all about work and study and work and study.. i really need to get out of this cycle..

February 14

This song somehow kept reflecting in my mind.

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too, but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh so right?

What would you say, if I called on you now
Saying that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone... I'll be gone

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can’t be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

The Year 2008 - Having lots of meaningless days

Hmmm..

I noticed I didn't even blog for 1 whole month. I've been so busy with some server set ups and programming issues at work.

It's almost 2009. And I just look back the past few entries. I can still feel the pain. I can tell and I can't lie to myself that this year is not a very good year.

I've certain achievements at work and also at my studies. I got good results at work and good grades in school. But I really feel something is really lost. All these achievements don't really play any important role for me.

Sometimes I don't understand why some people can sacrifice their time with friends, family and relatives and strive for their own to achieve good results in acedemic and coporate position. I don't know why they are working so hard to achieve all these materialistic status and positions. Not that I am not someone who has already achieve all these. But whatever I've achieve in my life don't seem meaningful to me without my family and friends to share the joy with. For me as someone who live and survive on my own here, facing day to day hurdle and hardship alone, all these achievements are meaningless to me. I am more craviing to have great time with my family and friend which I have had almost none.

This whole year I am busy from day in and day out. I don't have time to hang out much with friends. And on top of that there's some unhappiness between me and my close friend. And yet while my family is wanting so bad to see me and I have no annual leave to go back to my home town. I am not very sure whether anyone in my position exactly can feel what I am feeling. It's not that I will die without any family and friends being too dependant on them. But after some time I realize I don't see a meaning to live when there is nothing at all to enjoy together with family and friends.

I can't feel more death than being alive like this day to day.

Well, it's all sounds so bad and I can't help it. But that's how I am feeling and at least I should let it out on my own blog.

This is a terrible year. I hope 2009 bring more happiness and meaningful days.

....

Didn't get to update my blog for quite some time. Been really busy with work and school. What's worst? Now I'm having exam. Really nothing much going on at all. I'm busy and all my friends are too. Just looking forward to a few events coming. My company D&D event which I will most probably be busy as well since I am part of D&D community. Never really liase in this kind of event before. Well.. anyway, shouldn't really encounter anything challenging. And my big sister Olivia's Wedding.. Really glad to see my da-jie getting married. So envious. =) And hopefully more activities after my exam end of this month. By mid of next month all my friends exam shall over soon. Hope to get more catch up with my buddies.. =]

Stress Stress Stress and Moooooooore stress

Seriously I wanna blog something great, something good on my blog besides keep whining about how stress I'm. But I have nothing else to blog except that I am getting more and more stress... Work is always crazy. But I am not very bother about the work. Normally 1 way or another I can make it and I'm confident about that. But I am so stress out about my social life. School's exam and projects are piling up beyond my control. I have to stay at home most time to clear of my projects and assignments. When friends wanna go out I'm not free. When I am free, all friends are occupied. Nothing seems go well these days. Even the simplest thing seems to have gone wrong these days. I feel so meaningless living my life everyday cycling myself between work and study. Putting entertainment and socializing aside, I don't even have the time to sleep peacefully. Damn...

Are we even more restless than the robot? What happen with my life... oooo noo...

A few updates

It's been quite awhile since the last time I blog. There's nothing interesting going on basically besides some small activities. I went for bowling 3 times in a row this week. Before company bowling event, company bowling event and after that another round today with friends. Now my left arm is aching seriously. Went to Lantern festival with Sheralyn and Hansen just now. I felt the entrance fees is super pricey! $15. o_0 ... That's like I can eat for 1 and half day with that amount of money lor.. Anyway, enjoyed taking photos here and there. It's been so long since I hang out with any friends or taking some photos over some activities. Now I have to wait for my friend to pass me the photos to upload. I like hello kitty boat over the lake. It looks nice with reflection from water. I don't know if I made a mistake again. I went to buy iphone at the launch. Now I am on the pricier plan and Singtel oversea call is a bit expensive. Hopefully my phone bill won't sky rocketed again. Anyway, the phone is not too laggy and some of the functions are really useful for me. At least the email synchronization is really very efficient.

Happy Birthday Singapore!

Happy birthday Singapore! This is my 1st yr celebrating Singapore's birthday as Singaporean. Well, it's been 8 yrs I am in Singapore. Whether I've slight complaints over government or anything about Singapore here and there, I'm still happy to celebrate Singapore's birthday. I love the food, the culture and the people here. Certainly this is the country where I grow up, where I've learnt my education for my profession and also it's been 8 yrs being working and hanging out together with my fellow Singaporeans. I certainly feel affinity towards the country. I shall not say so much in case some people might think I try to exaggerate things or try to be a hypocrite. Anyway, even though I am not born here, I am glad where we are as Singapore. As a country. Happy Birthday Singapore! Majula Singapura! =)