So empty

I just feel very empty these days.. so empty.. Just realize I haven't blog ever since for so long.. and yet there is nothing much to blog.. There's some little celebration around my birthday which kinda warm my heart.. and some little events here and there.. but overall it just all about work and study and work and study.. i really need to get out of this cycle..

February 14

This song somehow kept reflecting in my mind.

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too, but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh so right?

What would you say, if I called on you now
Saying that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone... I'll be gone

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can’t be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

The Year 2008 - Having lots of meaningless days

Hmmm..

I noticed I didn't even blog for 1 whole month. I've been so busy with some server set ups and programming issues at work.

It's almost 2009. And I just look back the past few entries. I can still feel the pain. I can tell and I can't lie to myself that this year is not a very good year.

I've certain achievements at work and also at my studies. I got good results at work and good grades in school. But I really feel something is really lost. All these achievements don't really play any important role for me.

Sometimes I don't understand why some people can sacrifice their time with friends, family and relatives and strive for their own to achieve good results in acedemic and coporate position. I don't know why they are working so hard to achieve all these materialistic status and positions. Not that I am not someone who has already achieve all these. But whatever I've achieve in my life don't seem meaningful to me without my family and friends to share the joy with. For me as someone who live and survive on my own here, facing day to day hurdle and hardship alone, all these achievements are meaningless to me. I am more craviing to have great time with my family and friend which I have had almost none.

This whole year I am busy from day in and day out. I don't have time to hang out much with friends. And on top of that there's some unhappiness between me and my close friend. And yet while my family is wanting so bad to see me and I have no annual leave to go back to my home town. I am not very sure whether anyone in my position exactly can feel what I am feeling. It's not that I will die without any family and friends being too dependant on them. But after some time I realize I don't see a meaning to live when there is nothing at all to enjoy together with family and friends.

I can't feel more death than being alive like this day to day.

Well, it's all sounds so bad and I can't help it. But that's how I am feeling and at least I should let it out on my own blog.

This is a terrible year. I hope 2009 bring more happiness and meaningful days.

....

Didn't get to update my blog for quite some time. Been really busy with work and school. What's worst? Now I'm having exam. Really nothing much going on at all. I'm busy and all my friends are too. Just looking forward to a few events coming. My company D&D event which I will most probably be busy as well since I am part of D&D community. Never really liase in this kind of event before. Well.. anyway, shouldn't really encounter anything challenging. And my big sister Olivia's Wedding.. Really glad to see my da-jie getting married. So envious. =) And hopefully more activities after my exam end of this month. By mid of next month all my friends exam shall over soon. Hope to get more catch up with my buddies.. =]

Stress Stress Stress and Moooooooore stress

Seriously I wanna blog something great, something good on my blog besides keep whining about how stress I'm. But I have nothing else to blog except that I am getting more and more stress... Work is always crazy. But I am not very bother about the work. Normally 1 way or another I can make it and I'm confident about that. But I am so stress out about my social life. School's exam and projects are piling up beyond my control. I have to stay at home most time to clear of my projects and assignments. When friends wanna go out I'm not free. When I am free, all friends are occupied. Nothing seems go well these days. Even the simplest thing seems to have gone wrong these days. I feel so meaningless living my life everyday cycling myself between work and study. Putting entertainment and socializing aside, I don't even have the time to sleep peacefully. Damn...

Are we even more restless than the robot? What happen with my life... oooo noo...

A few updates

It's been quite awhile since the last time I blog. There's nothing interesting going on basically besides some small activities. I went for bowling 3 times in a row this week. Before company bowling event, company bowling event and after that another round today with friends. Now my left arm is aching seriously. Went to Lantern festival with Sheralyn and Hansen just now. I felt the entrance fees is super pricey! $15. o_0 ... That's like I can eat for 1 and half day with that amount of money lor.. Anyway, enjoyed taking photos here and there. It's been so long since I hang out with any friends or taking some photos over some activities. Now I have to wait for my friend to pass me the photos to upload. I like hello kitty boat over the lake. It looks nice with reflection from water. I don't know if I made a mistake again. I went to buy iphone at the launch. Now I am on the pricier plan and Singtel oversea call is a bit expensive. Hopefully my phone bill won't sky rocketed again. Anyway, the phone is not too laggy and some of the functions are really useful for me. At least the email synchronization is really very efficient.

Happy Birthday Singapore!

Happy birthday Singapore! This is my 1st yr celebrating Singapore's birthday as Singaporean. Well, it's been 8 yrs I am in Singapore. Whether I've slight complaints over government or anything about Singapore here and there, I'm still happy to celebrate Singapore's birthday. I love the food, the culture and the people here. Certainly this is the country where I grow up, where I've learnt my education for my profession and also it's been 8 yrs being working and hanging out together with my fellow Singaporeans. I certainly feel affinity towards the country. I shall not say so much in case some people might think I try to exaggerate things or try to be a hypocrite. Anyway, even though I am not born here, I am glad where we are as Singapore. As a country. Happy Birthday Singapore! Majula Singapura! =)

Happy Birthday Han!

This video is for you!

Love remains the same...

Dedicated to someone...

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me wanna run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But,love remains the same

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play

We - we could have had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change

I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
as if this could last forever

Love remains the same
Love remains the same

Busy and tired

My school has started again. So busy and so tired. 4 consecutive school days for 3 weeks. I hope I don't fall sick. Wake up at 6:35 am and back home at 11 pm. Just the thought of it really makes me feel very tired. As for the school, not that I am being over confident or anything. But I guess I should somehow be able to get a degree w/t having to repeat the semester. Well, hope it really is the case. I can't effort to repeat anyway. Will have to try my very best to past every modules with the highest score I can get within my power

I'm started to wonder if life is all about kept struggling. Struggle for work. Struggle for school. Struggle for status. I am so busy everyday that I am not very use to stay at home doing nothing over the weekend. Kept occupied myself with one thing or another. And I really feel myself I am getting a bit aged. Ha ha ha.

I'm looking forward to the news of salary review this month. Hopefully I can get some pay raise. That's the only thing most probably makes me feel a little happy. I felt my social life is reaching almost to zero. Haiz..Miss some of my friends also. =(

Let's call the whole thing off

I find this particular lyrics so simple yet so touching. It's about the differences btwn people. Yes, we do have alot of differences among family members, among friends, among race, religion, fate and belief and the list goes on. But how could the two people can get along with each other through many differences we are facing in this life? What's the whole point of calling it off because of the differences we have? Sometimes it is not a matter of having differences in life. It is a matter of whether we are willing to forgo the differences we have each other. Our ideology, our thoughts... It is whether we care for each other enough to come into terms with one another. If we care for one another.. why would we let obstacles stand in our way? We can just call it off. For the sake of friendship. For the sake of love. This is what people can have in common among many differences.. love and friendship. =)

Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

Lyrics by Ira Gershwin; Music by George Gershwin

Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that,
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done:
You say either and I say either,
You say neither and I say neither
Either, either Neither, neither
Let's call the whole thing off.
You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto.
Let's call the whole thing off
But oh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas,
I'll wear pyjamas and give up pyajahmas
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the whole thing off
Let's call the whole thing off.
You say laughter and I say larfter
You say after and I say arfter
Laughter, larfter after arfter
Let's call the whole thing off,
You like vanilla and I like vanella
You saspiralla, and I saspirella
Vanilla vanella chocolate strawberry
Let's call the whole thing off
But oh if we call the whole thing of then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off.
I say father, and you say pater,
I saw mother and you say mater
Pater, mater Uncle, auntie
Let's call the whole thing off.
I like bananas and you like banahnahs
I say Havana and I get Havahnah
Bananas, banahnahs Havana, Havahnah
Go your way, I'll go mine
So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters,
So all right no contest we'll order lobster
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off.

Unexpected result!

The weather is very cooling today. I woke up at 10:39 am. Never sleep till this late for years liao. Very nice weather to sleep I guess. I was a bit surprised about the exam results I got. 2 distinctions and 1 credit. This year I have lesser time to study. And during exam time I got alot of things going on. Quarrel with my friend which makes me in the worst mood to study, the myanmar cyclone and total lost of communication with my family make me worried sick and also in the middle of busy projects at work. And somehow I manage to get 2 distinction. I am feeling kinda lucky.

Going Mac

My first blog entry frm mac book. lol! Mac certainly is pretty different from windows. And today I am trying to explore a few features. Still need a bit of getting use to. I quite like the design of Mac. But anyway, I will have to install Windows on it since some of the applications I will need to use will only be on windows. I shall explore more about mac over the weekend.

Always be my baby

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

Damn sick of it

I'm so damn sick of unknown people leaving some junk ads messages on my chatterbox. Cannot take it anymore. I will take down my chatterbox for a few days and will get a new 1 when I have the time. I really sick of my site looks like some sort of place to leave all the ad links. What the hell...

Whole day in Boon Lay

Today is back to back meet up with friends. I meet up with 1 of my friends for lunch at boon lay. After I ended up having to cancel more than 3 , 4 times to meet up with her for various incidents, finally we get to meet up each other again. Since I try to meet up with my friend Bala and Raja for Bala's birthday in the evening and my friend Xanthe meet up with her friends for lunch and dinner we actually have a reason to stoning down there for lunch and dinner. Ha ha ha. I joined her friend for lunch and wait for my friends for dinner. And she also joined with me waiting for her friends for dinner. Really a stoning day. From 12:30pm - 7pm. First time I am spending way too much time in Jurong Point. And literally I totally no idea where to shop or where to spend time. Anyway, at least get to meet up with friends and get to talk a bit. Quite not bad la. I just a bit sian about the stoning part. And my two indian friends were enjoying the chinese dinner at Crystal Jade! LOL! Can't imagine the birthday boy is so anxious about eating the chinese food! Still have to meet up another birthday girl for belated birthday dinner. Think might be next week?

Friends forever

"Friends forever". I guess this is the kind of statement, that we made quite easily when we were young. And it is all sounds so nice and touching. But as we grow older, sometimes being friend with friends is not as easy as it sounds I guess. Especially for the two friends to be really care for each other through ups and downs. I am pondering over those words. And to me, I felt in my life some friends will be really friends forever. No matter what has happened. No matter how's life turn out to be. I am agree that sometimes it's hard for the two friends to accept the same point of view or always can click with each others.

As I grow older, I came to accept at times friends do quarrel among each other. Friends may have totally differing opinions. Sometimes really on each other nerves. Despite saying all these, some friends will always be in my heart no matter what. I know and appreciate their good intention, even admist the heated argument over opposing view. I can feel which friend do care about me even if they don't spell it out. I know which friends are being my friends in my life because they really intend to be friend with me when we get to know each other.

For these friends out there... Even when we don't get to talk to each other, I will still remember about them. Even if we have very different personality, I will still try to appreciate for who they are. Even if we quarrel, I will tend to ponder their point of view after some time. And I do really happy and appreciate for how they are and what they did for me because I can still clearly see they have some good intentions in everything that they do.

And I think those friends are the friends I can say they are my friends forever. I don't expect them to be by my side whole life as friends. But they are those friends who will be in my heart and memories forever. Those friends who made a great impact in my life and those I can vividly remember for who they are, rather than how they might appear to be.

Gonna be freaking busy!!!!

Today is my colleague's last day at his work and from tomorrow onwards I need to take over some of his job until the replacement guy is coming at 1st July. I am not very optimistic about it because even if the new guy is coming he would need a bit of time to get use to with the new environment and being able to take over everything from me. So I estimated I will be busy for about 2 months or more. And to make things worst my supervisor is gonna go for a trip with her family to hong kong for about 10 days. So basically I will be liasing for some of my supervisor's work as well.

I,myself already being quite busy with my own programming stuffs actually. Especially Sharepoint is something which only few people know how to do alot of customization and programming. So basically takes quite alot of time for me to do the research actually. Now with the added workload...

Ooo well.. I will just take it as I am helping people and covering whatever I can. I just hope I won't be too overloaded and become inefficient in my own working performance.

And I still haven't treat my two friends for dinner yet. Elaine and Bala. I think I would probably be able to give a treat this weekend and the next. Three friends birthday in a month! lol! Sheralyn, Elaine and Bala. And must thanks Sheralyn for her seafood dinner treat at York Hotel. My daughter is the best! =]

Mari kita rakyat Singapura
Sama-sama menuju bahagia
Cita-cita kita yang mulia
Berjaya Singapura
Marilah kita bersatu
Dengan semangat yang baru
Semua kita berseru
Majulah Singapura
Majulah Singapura

Happy Mother Day

Happy Mother Day to my mum and my aunty who raise me up. =)

Finally my exams are over. And I only get a bit more rest this weekend. Yesterday I went to watch 'What happen in Vegas' with Yiwen. The movie is quite nice. The plot is nothing much I guess. But it's quite funny. Enjoyed the show.

Today I went for a swim with Raja at Jurong East. The swimming pool was quite crowded. Anyway, quite relaxing down there. I love swimming in fact. But it's been quite long I don't really get to swim.

And I still got the two dvd to watch and return to my friend. Hopefully 1 day I drop by and drop in the dvd.