The Year 2008 - Having lots of meaningless days

Hmmm..

I noticed I didn't even blog for 1 whole month. I've been so busy with some server set ups and programming issues at work.

It's almost 2009. And I just look back the past few entries. I can still feel the pain. I can tell and I can't lie to myself that this year is not a very good year.

I've certain achievements at work and also at my studies. I got good results at work and good grades in school. But I really feel something is really lost. All these achievements don't really play any important role for me.

Sometimes I don't understand why some people can sacrifice their time with friends, family and relatives and strive for their own to achieve good results in acedemic and coporate position. I don't know why they are working so hard to achieve all these materialistic status and positions. Not that I am not someone who has already achieve all these. But whatever I've achieve in my life don't seem meaningful to me without my family and friends to share the joy with. For me as someone who live and survive on my own here, facing day to day hurdle and hardship alone, all these achievements are meaningless to me. I am more craviing to have great time with my family and friend which I have had almost none.

This whole year I am busy from day in and day out. I don't have time to hang out much with friends. And on top of that there's some unhappiness between me and my close friend. And yet while my family is wanting so bad to see me and I have no annual leave to go back to my home town. I am not very sure whether anyone in my position exactly can feel what I am feeling. It's not that I will die without any family and friends being too dependant on them. But after some time I realize I don't see a meaning to live when there is nothing at all to enjoy together with family and friends.

I can't feel more death than being alive like this day to day.

Well, it's all sounds so bad and I can't help it. But that's how I am feeling and at least I should let it out on my own blog.

This is a terrible year. I hope 2009 bring more happiness and meaningful days.