Hmmm..
I noticed I didn't even blog for 1 whole month. I've been so busy with some server set ups and programming issues at work.
It's almost 2009. And I just look back the past few entries. I can still feel the pain. I can tell and I can't lie to myself that this year is not a very good year.
I've certain achievements at work and also at my studies. I got good results at work and good grades in school. But I really feel something is really lost. All these achievements don't really play any important role for me.
Sometimes I don't understand why some people can sacrifice their time with friends, family and relatives and strive for their own to achieve good results in acedemic and coporate position. I don't know why they are working so hard to achieve all these materialistic status and positions. Not that I am not someone who has already achieve all these. But whatever I've achieve in my life don't seem meaningful to me without my family and friends to share the joy with. For me as someone who live and survive on my own here, facing day to day hurdle and hardship alone, all these achievements are meaningless to me. I am more craviing to have great time with my family and friend which I have had almost none.
This whole year I am busy from day in and day out. I don't have time to hang out much with friends. And on top of that there's some unhappiness between me and my close friend. And yet while my family is wanting so bad to see me and I have no annual leave to go back to my home town. I am not very sure whether anyone in my position exactly can feel what I am feeling. It's not that I will die without any family and friends being too dependant on them. But after some time I realize I don't see a meaning to live when there is nothing at all to enjoy together with family and friends.
I can't feel more death than being alive like this day to day.
Well, it's all sounds so bad and I can't help it. But that's how I am feeling and at least I should let it out on my own blog.
This is a terrible year. I hope 2009 bring more happiness and meaningful days.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
....
Didn't get to update my blog for quite some time. Been really busy with work and school. What's worst? Now I'm having exam. Really nothing much going on at all. I'm busy and all my friends are too. Just looking forward to a few events coming. My company D&D event which I will most probably be busy as well since I am part of D&D community. Never really liase in this kind of event before. Well.. anyway, shouldn't really encounter anything challenging. And my big sister Olivia's Wedding.. Really glad to see my da-jie getting married. So envious. =) And hopefully more activities after my exam end of this month. By mid of next month all my friends exam shall over soon. Hope to get more catch up with my buddies.. =]
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Stress Stress Stress and Moooooooore stress
Seriously I wanna blog something great, something good on my blog besides keep whining about how stress I'm. But I have nothing else to blog except that I am getting more and more stress... Work is always crazy. But I am not very bother about the work. Normally 1 way or another I can make it and I'm confident about that. But I am so stress out about my social life. School's exam and projects are piling up beyond my control. I have to stay at home most time to clear of my projects and assignments. When friends wanna go out I'm not free. When I am free, all friends are occupied. Nothing seems go well these days. Even the simplest thing seems to have gone wrong these days. I feel so meaningless living my life everyday cycling myself between work and study. Putting entertainment and socializing aside, I don't even have the time to sleep peacefully. Damn...
Are we even more restless than the robot? What happen with my life... oooo noo...
Are we even more restless than the robot? What happen with my life... oooo noo...
Saturday, August 30, 2008
A few updates
It's been quite awhile since the last time I blog. There's nothing interesting going on basically besides some small activities. I went for bowling 3 times in a row this week. Before company bowling event, company bowling event and after that another round today with friends. Now my left arm is aching seriously. Went to Lantern festival with Sheralyn and Hansen just now. I felt the entrance fees is super pricey! $15. o_0 ... That's like I can eat for 1 and half day with that amount of money lor.. Anyway, enjoyed taking photos here and there. It's been so long since I hang out with any friends or taking some photos over some activities. Now I have to wait for my friend to pass me the photos to upload. I like hello kitty boat over the lake. It looks nice with reflection from water. I don't know if I made a mistake again. I went to buy iphone at the launch. Now I am on the pricier plan and Singtel oversea call is a bit expensive. Hopefully my phone bill won't sky rocketed again. Anyway, the phone is not too laggy and some of the functions are really useful for me. At least the email synchronization is really very efficient.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Happy Birthday Singapore!
Happy birthday Singapore! This is my 1st yr celebrating Singapore's birthday as Singaporean. Well, it's been 8 yrs I am in Singapore. Whether I've slight complaints over government or anything about Singapore here and there, I'm still happy to celebrate Singapore's birthday. I love the food, the culture and the people here. Certainly this is the country where I grow up, where I've learnt my education for my profession and also it's been 8 yrs being working and hanging out together with my fellow Singaporeans. I certainly feel affinity towards the country. I shall not say so much in case some people might think I try to exaggerate things or try to be a hypocrite. Anyway, even though I am not born here, I am glad where we are as Singapore. As a country. Happy Birthday Singapore! Majula Singapura! =)
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Love remains the same...
Dedicated to someone...
A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me wanna run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But,love remains the same
I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same
So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play
We - we could have had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change
I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
as if this could last forever
Love remains the same
Love remains the same
A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like lunar landing
You make me wanna run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But,love remains the same
I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same
So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play
We - we could have had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here
Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending
I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change
I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
as if this could last forever
Love remains the same
Love remains the same
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Busy and tired
My school has started again. So busy and so tired. 4 consecutive school days for 3 weeks. I hope I don't fall sick. Wake up at 6:35 am and back home at 11 pm. Just the thought of it really makes me feel very tired. As for the school, not that I am being over confident or anything. But I guess I should somehow be able to get a degree w/t having to repeat the semester. Well, hope it really is the case. I can't effort to repeat anyway. Will have to try my very best to past every modules with the highest score I can get within my power
I'm started to wonder if life is all about kept struggling. Struggle for work. Struggle for school. Struggle for status. I am so busy everyday that I am not very use to stay at home doing nothing over the weekend. Kept occupied myself with one thing or another. And I really feel myself I am getting a bit aged. Ha ha ha.
I'm looking forward to the news of salary review this month. Hopefully I can get some pay raise. That's the only thing most probably makes me feel a little happy. I felt my social life is reaching almost to zero. Haiz..Miss some of my friends also. =(
I'm started to wonder if life is all about kept struggling. Struggle for work. Struggle for school. Struggle for status. I am so busy everyday that I am not very use to stay at home doing nothing over the weekend. Kept occupied myself with one thing or another. And I really feel myself I am getting a bit aged. Ha ha ha.
I'm looking forward to the news of salary review this month. Hopefully I can get some pay raise. That's the only thing most probably makes me feel a little happy. I felt my social life is reaching almost to zero. Haiz..Miss some of my friends also. =(
Monday, June 16, 2008
Let's call the whole thing off
I find this particular lyrics so simple yet so touching. It's about the differences btwn people. Yes, we do have alot of differences among family members, among friends, among race, religion, fate and belief and the list goes on. But how could the two people can get along with each other through many differences we are facing in this life? What's the whole point of calling it off because of the differences we have? Sometimes it is not a matter of having differences in life. It is a matter of whether we are willing to forgo the differences we have each other. Our ideology, our thoughts... It is whether we care for each other enough to come into terms with one another. If we care for one another.. why would we let obstacles stand in our way? We can just call it off. For the sake of friendship. For the sake of love. This is what people can have in common among many differences.. love and friendship. =)
Let's Call The Whole Thing Off
Lyrics by Ira Gershwin; Music by George Gershwin
Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that,
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done:
You say either and I say either,
You say neither and I say neither
Either, either Neither, neither
Let's call the whole thing off.
You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto.
Let's call the whole thing off
But oh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas,
I'll wear pyjamas and give up pyajahmas
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the whole thing off
Let's call the whole thing off.
You say laughter and I say larfter
You say after and I say arfter
Laughter, larfter after arfter
Let's call the whole thing off,
You like vanilla and I like vanella
You saspiralla, and I saspirella
Vanilla vanella chocolate strawberry
Let's call the whole thing off
But oh if we call the whole thing of then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off.
I say father, and you say pater,
I saw mother and you say mater
Pater, mater Uncle, auntie
Let's call the whole thing off.
I like bananas and you like banahnahs
I say Havana and I get Havahnah
Bananas, banahnahs Havana, Havahnah
Go your way, I'll go mine
So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters,
So all right no contest we'll order lobster
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off.
Let's Call The Whole Thing Off
Lyrics by Ira Gershwin; Music by George Gershwin
Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that,
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done:
You say either and I say either,
You say neither and I say neither
Either, either Neither, neither
Let's call the whole thing off.
You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto.
Let's call the whole thing off
But oh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas,
I'll wear pyjamas and give up pyajahmas
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the whole thing off
Let's call the whole thing off.
You say laughter and I say larfter
You say after and I say arfter
Laughter, larfter after arfter
Let's call the whole thing off,
You like vanilla and I like vanella
You saspiralla, and I saspirella
Vanilla vanella chocolate strawberry
Let's call the whole thing off
But oh if we call the whole thing of then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off.
I say father, and you say pater,
I saw mother and you say mater
Pater, mater Uncle, auntie
Let's call the whole thing off.
I like bananas and you like banahnahs
I say Havana and I get Havahnah
Bananas, banahnahs Havana, Havahnah
Go your way, I'll go mine
So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters,
So all right no contest we'll order lobster
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Unexpected result!
The weather is very cooling today. I woke up at 10:39 am. Never sleep till this late for years liao. Very nice weather to sleep I guess. I was a bit surprised about the exam results I got. 2 distinctions and 1 credit. This year I have lesser time to study. And during exam time I got alot of things going on. Quarrel with my friend which makes me in the worst mood to study, the myanmar cyclone and total lost of communication with my family make me worried sick and also in the middle of busy projects at work. And somehow I manage to get 2 distinction. I am feeling kinda lucky.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Going Mac
My first blog entry frm mac book. lol! Mac certainly is pretty different from windows. And today I am trying to explore a few features. Still need a bit of getting use to. I quite like the design of Mac. But anyway, I will have to install Windows on it since some of the applications I will need to use will only be on windows. I shall explore more about mac over the weekend.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Always be my baby
We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!
You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....
You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
Always be my baby
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!
You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time
You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....
You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
Always be my baby
Damn sick of it
I'm so damn sick of unknown people leaving some junk ads messages on my chatterbox. Cannot take it anymore. I will take down my chatterbox for a few days and will get a new 1 when I have the time. I really sick of my site looks like some sort of place to leave all the ad links. What the hell...
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Whole day in Boon Lay
Today is back to back meet up with friends. I meet up with 1 of my friends for lunch at boon lay. After I ended up having to cancel more than 3 , 4 times to meet up with her for various incidents, finally we get to meet up each other again. Since I try to meet up with my friend Bala and Raja for Bala's birthday in the evening and my friend Xanthe meet up with her friends for lunch and dinner we actually have a reason to stoning down there for lunch and dinner. Ha ha ha. I joined her friend for lunch and wait for my friends for dinner. And she also joined with me waiting for her friends for dinner. Really a stoning day. From 12:30pm - 7pm. First time I am spending way too much time in Jurong Point. And literally I totally no idea where to shop or where to spend time. Anyway, at least get to meet up with friends and get to talk a bit. Quite not bad la. I just a bit sian about the stoning part. And my two indian friends were enjoying the chinese dinner at Crystal Jade! LOL! Can't imagine the birthday boy is so anxious about eating the chinese food! Still have to meet up another birthday girl for belated birthday dinner. Think might be next week?
Friends forever
"Friends forever". I guess this is the kind of statement, that we made quite easily when we were young. And it is all sounds so nice and touching. But as we grow older, sometimes being friend with friends is not as easy as it sounds I guess. Especially for the two friends to be really care for each other through ups and downs. I am pondering over those words. And to me, I felt in my life some friends will be really friends forever. No matter what has happened. No matter how's life turn out to be. I am agree that sometimes it's hard for the two friends to accept the same point of view or always can click with each others.
As I grow older, I came to accept at times friends do quarrel among each other. Friends may have totally differing opinions. Sometimes really on each other nerves. Despite saying all these, some friends will always be in my heart no matter what. I know and appreciate their good intention, even admist the heated argument over opposing view. I can feel which friend do care about me even if they don't spell it out. I know which friends are being my friends in my life because they really intend to be friend with me when we get to know each other.
For these friends out there... Even when we don't get to talk to each other, I will still remember about them. Even if we have very different personality, I will still try to appreciate for who they are. Even if we quarrel, I will tend to ponder their point of view after some time. And I do really happy and appreciate for how they are and what they did for me because I can still clearly see they have some good intentions in everything that they do.
And I think those friends are the friends I can say they are my friends forever. I don't expect them to be by my side whole life as friends. But they are those friends who will be in my heart and memories forever. Those friends who made a great impact in my life and those I can vividly remember for who they are, rather than how they might appear to be.
As I grow older, I came to accept at times friends do quarrel among each other. Friends may have totally differing opinions. Sometimes really on each other nerves. Despite saying all these, some friends will always be in my heart no matter what. I know and appreciate their good intention, even admist the heated argument over opposing view. I can feel which friend do care about me even if they don't spell it out. I know which friends are being my friends in my life because they really intend to be friend with me when we get to know each other.
For these friends out there... Even when we don't get to talk to each other, I will still remember about them. Even if we have very different personality, I will still try to appreciate for who they are. Even if we quarrel, I will tend to ponder their point of view after some time. And I do really happy and appreciate for how they are and what they did for me because I can still clearly see they have some good intentions in everything that they do.
And I think those friends are the friends I can say they are my friends forever. I don't expect them to be by my side whole life as friends. But they are those friends who will be in my heart and memories forever. Those friends who made a great impact in my life and those I can vividly remember for who they are, rather than how they might appear to be.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Gonna be freaking busy!!!!
Today is my colleague's last day at his work and from tomorrow onwards I need to take over some of his job until the replacement guy is coming at 1st July. I am not very optimistic about it because even if the new guy is coming he would need a bit of time to get use to with the new environment and being able to take over everything from me. So I estimated I will be busy for about 2 months or more. And to make things worst my supervisor is gonna go for a trip with her family to hong kong for about 10 days. So basically I will be liasing for some of my supervisor's work as well.
I,myself already being quite busy with my own programming stuffs actually. Especially Sharepoint is something which only few people know how to do alot of customization and programming. So basically takes quite alot of time for me to do the research actually. Now with the added workload...
Ooo well.. I will just take it as I am helping people and covering whatever I can. I just hope I won't be too overloaded and become inefficient in my own working performance.
And I still haven't treat my two friends for dinner yet. Elaine and Bala. I think I would probably be able to give a treat this weekend and the next. Three friends birthday in a month! lol! Sheralyn, Elaine and Bala. And must thanks Sheralyn for her seafood dinner treat at York Hotel. My daughter is the best! =]
I,myself already being quite busy with my own programming stuffs actually. Especially Sharepoint is something which only few people know how to do alot of customization and programming. So basically takes quite alot of time for me to do the research actually. Now with the added workload...
Ooo well.. I will just take it as I am helping people and covering whatever I can. I just hope I won't be too overloaded and become inefficient in my own working performance.
And I still haven't treat my two friends for dinner yet. Elaine and Bala. I think I would probably be able to give a treat this weekend and the next. Three friends birthday in a month! lol! Sheralyn, Elaine and Bala. And must thanks Sheralyn for her seafood dinner treat at York Hotel. My daughter is the best! =]
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother Day
Happy Mother Day to my mum and my aunty who raise me up. =)
Finally my exams are over. And I only get a bit more rest this weekend. Yesterday I went to watch 'What happen in Vegas' with Yiwen. The movie is quite nice. The plot is nothing much I guess. But it's quite funny. Enjoyed the show.
Today I went for a swim with Raja at Jurong East. The swimming pool was quite crowded. Anyway, quite relaxing down there. I love swimming in fact. But it's been quite long I don't really get to swim.
And I still got the two dvd to watch and return to my friend. Hopefully 1 day I drop by and drop in the dvd.
Finally my exams are over. And I only get a bit more rest this weekend. Yesterday I went to watch 'What happen in Vegas' with Yiwen. The movie is quite nice. The plot is nothing much I guess. But it's quite funny. Enjoyed the show.
Today I went for a swim with Raja at Jurong East. The swimming pool was quite crowded. Anyway, quite relaxing down there. I love swimming in fact. But it's been quite long I don't really get to swim.
And I still got the two dvd to watch and return to my friend. Hopefully 1 day I drop by and drop in the dvd.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Half a relief
Finally my exams are over and I believe I do fairly well. All my effort being paid off I guess? And my family is not in danger by the cyclone. At least I am happy for it although I feel quite saddened by the state Myanmar is in. Well, this is where I grow up anyway. Whatever things I may be hate about is not on the people ba. It's on the well known factor most Myanmese will probably hate also. I guess I am not gonna talk about it.
Some of the things are being done. But there's many things at hand also. I need to take over my colleague's duty since he's resigning. This mean I will have more responsibilities until a new recruit is coming over. And another thing.. Well. I can't run away from the blame anyway. I know I sound kinda harsh over what I reply to you because I am in the worst of mood over so many things. This is not an excuse. But well.. I think I really kinda out of control. I am kinda stress and pressure over quite a number of things past few weeks. Exams, Work and also my irritant over how things has gone wrong. I really not expected things to go this way. But haiz... Well, all my faults anyway. I know you have done your part to get some message across. I read through a few things carefully and I sort of understand what you are trying to say... But well.. I guess whatever I have said out can't be taken back. I can only make amend. That is if I ever had the chance. I don't know how to express how I feel. But for sure, I really don't want things to go wrong this way, if I ever could find a way to prevent that..
Some of the things are being done. But there's many things at hand also. I need to take over my colleague's duty since he's resigning. This mean I will have more responsibilities until a new recruit is coming over. And another thing.. Well. I can't run away from the blame anyway. I know I sound kinda harsh over what I reply to you because I am in the worst of mood over so many things. This is not an excuse. But well.. I think I really kinda out of control. I am kinda stress and pressure over quite a number of things past few weeks. Exams, Work and also my irritant over how things has gone wrong. I really not expected things to go this way. But haiz... Well, all my faults anyway. I know you have done your part to get some message across. I read through a few things carefully and I sort of understand what you are trying to say... But well.. I guess whatever I have said out can't be taken back. I can only make amend. That is if I ever had the chance. I don't know how to express how I feel. But for sure, I really don't want things to go wrong this way, if I ever could find a way to prevent that..
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Cyclone in Yangon.. what next?
I read the news and heard from Myanmar friends that severe cyclone has entered Yangon and it was really devastating. And now people are having problems with food and debris everywhere. Electricity, phone line and internet were cut off. I totally didn't manage to contact my family. Sianess.... -____-||
http://www.mizzima.com/news/breaking-news/1-breaking-news/415-state-of-emergency-declared-in-parts-of-burma
This is the news about the cyclone. I am wondering what other bad things might happen next to this already suffering country.. Damn...
http://www.mizzima.com/news/breaking-news/1-breaking-news/415-state-of-emergency-declared-in-parts-of-burma
This is the news about the cyclone. I am wondering what other bad things might happen next to this already suffering country.. Damn...
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Lost in Liberty City
While in the midst of my exams, I am still crazy enough to go and buy GTA IV and played a bit last few days. The game is bigger and badder!(Yes.. there's more little things I can mess around in the game) and the city of Liberty is really meticulousy detailed and enormously huge. As I play the game I miss those days in the past. Really bring back some memories. Those days we can watch the game videos on youtube and chat about GTA and Resident Evil for hours and hours. Sometimes I think those small little memories here and there that makes certain things in the past really significantly memorable. How I wish I could share some of the experiences about the new game... hmmmm...
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Last thing on my mind
This might not exactly the kind of lyrics that would be meant for a friend. But anyway, certain lines in the lyrics really reflected how I felt. Hope you understand the lyrics also.
Four o’clock in the morning
My mind’s filled with a thousand thoughts of you
How you left me without a warning
But looking back I’m sure you
tried to talk it through
Now I say it so clearly
We have been together but living separate lives
So, I wanna tell you I’m sorry
Baby, I can’t find the words
But, if I could
Than you know I would, yeahhhhhh
No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the
last thing on my mind
You carried me like a river
How far we have come still surprises me
Now, I look in the mirror (look in the mirror)
Staring back is a man I used to be with you
How I longed for you
No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the
last thing on my mind
Girl I’m sorry I was wrong
Couldn’t be there, should have been so strong
So, I’m sorry
Ohhhhhhh
No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last
thing on my mind (on my mind)
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the
last thing on my mind
On my mind (on my mind)
Four o’clock in the morning
My mind’s filled with a thousand thoughts of you
How you left me without a warning
But looking back I’m sure you
tried to talk it through
Now I say it so clearly
We have been together but living separate lives
So, I wanna tell you I’m sorry
Baby, I can’t find the words
But, if I could
Than you know I would, yeahhhhhh
No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the
last thing on my mind
You carried me like a river
How far we have come still surprises me
Now, I look in the mirror (look in the mirror)
Staring back is a man I used to be with you
How I longed for you
No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the
last thing on my mind
Girl I’m sorry I was wrong
Couldn’t be there, should have been so strong
So, I’m sorry
Ohhhhhhh
No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last
thing on my mind (on my mind)
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the
last thing on my mind
On my mind (on my mind)
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Stop and Stare
This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin' off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not 'there'
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see?
They're tryin' to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not 'there'
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What you need, what you need, what you need
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see?
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin' off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not 'there'
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see?
They're tryin' to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not 'there'
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need
What you need, what you need, what you need
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see?
Monday, April 21, 2008
What an article!!!
Last week, the Ministry of Trade and Industry revealed that 65 per cent of hawkers are holding their prices steady - down from 75 per cent two months ago - amid rising food bills. Samantha Eng and Aw Cheng Wei scoured hawker centres and coffee shops across the island in search of really cheap hawker fare.
They found 27 which have kept prices at $2 and below, two that sell Western-style food for $3 and $2.90, and one selling Japanese-style dishes at $3.
Some areas like Bedok have a rash of such stalls, no doubt because of competition. At other areas like Hougang and Thomson, they are hard to come by.
So what's this aritcle trying to prove? Inflation rate is high, but you can eat very cheap? 27 stalls out of the whole island? Ooooo what a figure. So if you want to eat cheap food you either say at places like Bedok or travel all the way there to eat???
I tell you what this article is all about. Bull sh*t. Ha ha ha ha ha ha
They found 27 which have kept prices at $2 and below, two that sell Western-style food for $3 and $2.90, and one selling Japanese-style dishes at $3.
Some areas like Bedok have a rash of such stalls, no doubt because of competition. At other areas like Hougang and Thomson, they are hard to come by.
So what's this aritcle trying to prove? Inflation rate is high, but you can eat very cheap? 27 stalls out of the whole island? Ooooo what a figure. So if you want to eat cheap food you either say at places like Bedok or travel all the way there to eat???
I tell you what this article is all about. Bull sh*t. Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Sometimes
You tell me you're in love with me
Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
It's not that I don't want to stay
But every time you come too close I move away
I wanna believe in everything you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know
[CHORUS:]
Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time
I don't wanna be so shy
Every time that I'm alone I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You'll see that you're the only one for me
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know
[Repeat CHORUS]
Jest hang around and you'll see
There's nowhere I'd rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you
Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
It's not that I don't want to stay
But every time you come too close I move away
I wanna believe in everything you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know
[CHORUS:]
Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right, be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time
I don't wanna be so shy
Every time that I'm alone I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You'll see that you're the only one for me
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know
[Repeat CHORUS]
Jest hang around and you'll see
There's nowhere I'd rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Lots of thoughts very little time to whine about
These days I am really in deep thoughts. Or rather I am also feeling a bit down.
Is it very hard to just hold close and maintain some friendship that I have?
Is it so hard to understand each other?
Would I always be making the same mistake all the time?
Or is it you who always felt everything I have done for you with all the good intention is a torturing to you?
Or is it just me who really don't know how to make you understand?
Or was it always me , who always badly executed all the good intention in the most terrible way?
I always like to blame it on myself whenever things go wrong with you my friend.. I am thinking have I blame myself enough?
Everytime I see you why I really can't feel anything except so happy to see you?
If time can make me forget everything why are you the only exception it seems to me in the whole world? Why time fail to make me forget you? Or am I forget to forget about you?
Ok.. May be I just miss you. If all my own ranting on my own blog makes you unpleasant to see.. I am really sorry. I am not suppose you will actually look at my blog either. Or I really hope you don't. If not I am making another mistake again.. I guess.
Is it very hard to just hold close and maintain some friendship that I have?
Is it so hard to understand each other?
Would I always be making the same mistake all the time?
Or is it you who always felt everything I have done for you with all the good intention is a torturing to you?
Or is it just me who really don't know how to make you understand?
Or was it always me , who always badly executed all the good intention in the most terrible way?
I always like to blame it on myself whenever things go wrong with you my friend.. I am thinking have I blame myself enough?
Everytime I see you why I really can't feel anything except so happy to see you?
If time can make me forget everything why are you the only exception it seems to me in the whole world? Why time fail to make me forget you? Or am I forget to forget about you?
Ok.. May be I just miss you. If all my own ranting on my own blog makes you unpleasant to see.. I am really sorry. I am not suppose you will actually look at my blog either. Or I really hope you don't. If not I am making another mistake again.. I guess.
Soul Mate
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Mixed Feeling
Having very mixed feeling this birthday. Or more towards feeling down. Sorry friends and colleagues if nothing can't exactly cheer me up. I just not in the right mood. Anyway, thanks all my friends (Steph, Sheralyn, Hansen, Raja, Bala, Yiwen and Elaine) for remembering me and wishing me Happy Birthday. And also was taken by suprise treat by some of the colleagues which I am close to at work. Pei Keng, from our team and Joanna and Min Lee from Retail Support give me a birthday treat at Dohby Ghaut Exchange. Really appreciate for the treat. And my superviosr bought me a hazelnut birthday cake. I only tasted a small bit because I was feeling bloated and not well yesterday. Talking about having all sort of problem at the wrong time... -___-|| And I went to watch Three Kingdoms with Yiwen. The movie was not bad. But it really ended abruptly. I won't give a super good rating although I like some plots in the show. And well.. though you may be angry or decided to stay away from me for awhile.. or whatever reason it might be. Since we have known for this long, I believe you still take me as a friend anyway. And may be most probably you wish for me happy birthday in your mind? May be.. Whatever it is, after years I will still be your friend somehow.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Busy busy all the way
Some of my friends commented me how come I never continue blogging for very long. For 3 reasons I guess
1. I am in very sad and foul mood recently.
2. I am really busy like hell.
3. I really hate how come some of those people leaving nonsense comments and tags on my shout box. It is not even some sort of comment about my entry at all. It just looks some rubbish ads. In this internet day and age can't we really not able to run away from all the adware attacks? Fuc*k that.
Some quick updates to my friends. My birthday and my exams are around the corner in this April. And I am also feeling very moody over my birthday. Hopefully it will not be a "Saddy Birthday"
I am moving my house just today to Jurong East Street 31, Blk 317. It is very near to the swimming pool and the gym. Time for me to truly gearing up for my exercise regime. And I am truly deeply appreciate the help of my two best buddies for moving house. Raja and Bala. Thanks guys. The years I have been with you guys and the experience we had gone through together are truly the fruitful 1.
I went back to Myanmar for a very quick break. Just 1 week. I didn't manage to stay for long because I need to settle a lot of things in SG and my work commitment. Anyway, I am really happy that I got some time to spend together with my dear family. Really miss them. I think I have the most supportive parents and family in my life. I should really be thankful about it.
I'm so busy these days and I shouldn't even have the time to think so much about anything and everything. But my mood really can't be in the right mood for some reason. Well.. what can I do? I just hope I can get things right 1 day with you my dear friend. I really hope everything will be ok again.
1. I am in very sad and foul mood recently.
2. I am really busy like hell.
3. I really hate how come some of those people leaving nonsense comments and tags on my shout box. It is not even some sort of comment about my entry at all. It just looks some rubbish ads. In this internet day and age can't we really not able to run away from all the adware attacks? Fuc*k that.
Some quick updates to my friends. My birthday and my exams are around the corner in this April. And I am also feeling very moody over my birthday. Hopefully it will not be a "Saddy Birthday"
I am moving my house just today to Jurong East Street 31, Blk 317. It is very near to the swimming pool and the gym. Time for me to truly gearing up for my exercise regime. And I am truly deeply appreciate the help of my two best buddies for moving house. Raja and Bala. Thanks guys. The years I have been with you guys and the experience we had gone through together are truly the fruitful 1.
I went back to Myanmar for a very quick break. Just 1 week. I didn't manage to stay for long because I need to settle a lot of things in SG and my work commitment. Anyway, I am really happy that I got some time to spend together with my dear family. Really miss them. I think I have the most supportive parents and family in my life. I should really be thankful about it.
I'm so busy these days and I shouldn't even have the time to think so much about anything and everything. But my mood really can't be in the right mood for some reason. Well.. what can I do? I just hope I can get things right 1 day with you my dear friend. I really hope everything will be ok again.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Start Cruise 2008
Just back from my cruise trip. Somehow I feel much relax and having some rest which is what I really needed. And some of the events on the cruise makes me feel a re-run of some of the situations I'm in. Seeing my certain rights and wrongs. Well... I'm actually feeling quite down before the cruise. But the trip makes me felt somehow better. And I am also glad some friendship that I have .. still going strong. I don't really know what to say. But now I think I somehow see where are the place I went wrong. And also can feel why sometimes some of the things can't ever be looking natural, if you try way too hard.
K.. I think I will be the only one who understanding what I'm talking about. Now is the time for some photos
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Building?
Sometimes it doesn't matter how long it take to build something. It is also depends on what's the ingredient and what you build on it.. It was all too fragile...
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
15 Feb 2008
I think I will want to remember this day for this year. The day I take my oath to be a singaporean and become a citizen. It's not much about being a Singapore citizen. But it's more about quite a big change. My name and my nationality. Feeling kinda weird. But well.. hope I made a right choice.
And also it is the day I manage to proof myself in my company in the first 3 months being there. Manage to migrate the SharePoint successfully without any big hiccup. Quite happy. My effort of reasearching and finding information over the past 2 months has really paid off. First time I get a chance to handle a big project in a few months time. Feeling quite happy over the project. =)
And also it is the day I manage to proof myself in my company in the first 3 months being there. Manage to migrate the SharePoint successfully without any big hiccup. Quite happy. My effort of reasearching and finding information over the past 2 months has really paid off. First time I get a chance to handle a big project in a few months time. Feeling quite happy over the project. =)
Friday, February 8, 2008
Yesterday is a fun fun day!
Me and My dearest daughter Sheralyn
My colleagues
Yesterday went out with my friend for movie and pub. Anyway, ha ha.. I go pub I can't drink anyway. My alchohol tolerent level is super low. Anyway, drink 1 bottle of Henniken for the fun of it. After that getting a bit high liao! lol. Quite fun la. Since after poly there has been less and less late night outing with buddies. Most of the time is like just meet up for a movie or coffee and rush back home. Yesterday late night outing was great!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Chinese New Year In Singapore
This is like my second chinese new year I'm staying in singapore. Alot of shops close today. And kinda lazing around at home. I miss my family and the food they cook for reunion dinner. Too bad I didn't get the chance to go back this time round. Anyway, not a bad year for me though. So far my work is quite ok. Manage to achieve most of the thing in the guideline they set for me too. Just having a little home sick in a time like this CNY. Anyway,
Gong Xi Fa Cai to all my friends..
And thanks alot for Samosa to Raj! =)
Gong Xi Fa Cai to all my friends..
And thanks alot for Samosa to Raj! =)
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Renounce Renounce Renounce !!
Hmmm.. the start of 2008 is quite a dramatic change to me.
I've renounce my life long name Naing Ko Ko Lwin and officially going to change to Leo Lu
I've renounce my Myanmar citizenship.
I don't know. Somehow or rather I felt it is quite a big decision n impact I had made for myself. Good or bad.. I still can't really tell. But somehow I felt a bit of strange feelings. Parting of the own identity for something new is not as easy as it sounds I guess. Well.. At least for me. Felt like I am turning alot of things into a new direction. Whether it is a right or wrong direction? I think it is still a big unknown for me at this point of time.
I've renounce my life long name Naing Ko Ko Lwin and officially going to change to Leo Lu
I've renounce my Myanmar citizenship.
I don't know. Somehow or rather I felt it is quite a big decision n impact I had made for myself. Good or bad.. I still can't really tell. But somehow I felt a bit of strange feelings. Parting of the own identity for something new is not as easy as it sounds I guess. Well.. At least for me. Felt like I am turning alot of things into a new direction. Whether it is a right or wrong direction? I think it is still a big unknown for me at this point of time.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Finally can relax a bit!
I was a bit worried about the SharePoint Migration I needed to do for my work in the past few weeks. There's quite a limited resources on how to do the migration properly and it's also very expensive to outsource other companies to do it. After spending quite alot of my time researching and testing on the possibilities, this week we manage to test out the migration scenerios in the test server environment and it's all went quite well. Feeling very happy and relief. At least now I sort of know what to expect when we commence the actual migration process.
Such an expensive local fare!
Yesterday I went to Straits Kitchen at Hyatt for buffet dinner sponsored by my department heads. It's a local food buffet with all the Malay, Chinese and Indian variety. The food was really quite nice. Especially I like the Malay curry prawn. Very succulent. And I love the carrot cake there too. Really had a very very unique taste. Anyway, having quite a hard time after eating all those. I am not the guy who can actually eat spicy malay food and I have quite a funny feeling inside the stomach after the dinner. Anyway, it's really a good experience to actually try out all the local variety at one place. Quite satisfying. But ... I find it quite expensive!! $52++ for local food? And no free flow drinks included!!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Back in action!
The last few months of 2007. My blog has been totally inactive. My laptop breaks down and it took so many trips to toshiba to get it fixed. I've been out of action for too long and alot of things has been going on. Guess I can't possibly note everything down here.
But I would say most are the good things. =) 2007 has been a pretty good year than I thought it would.
I had a new job at a new work place.
Really have some touching moments in 2007 by some of my good friends. =)
Manage to pass 1 semester successfully with a distinction in 1 subject.
My Singapore citizenship has been approved.
I was actually feeling kind of down at the start of 2007. And my good friend Raja was kept asking me back then what new year resolution I would made for 2007. I told him I just don't wish to expect anything out of it and feeling so exhausted trying to achieve the goals that I'm setting for myself. I've been tired of setting goals and trying so hard to achieve from years to years. At least I am quite happy with whatever outcome I get from year 2007. Really a good year. =)
Here I'm now at 2008 and I wouldn't write down every single things I wanna achieve as new year resolution for this year anyway. But well, roughly I know what I want and most probably may be I could achieve some of it at the end of 2008.
And 2 things I will try to keep track for the whole of 2008.
My health and exercise
And the way I spend.
Since I've learnt quite a bit of economics. Now I promise myself I will try to make good use of my money and try to make more earning than spending.
For year 2007, I think I shall personally thanks a friend as well. Thanks Sheralyn for helping me out with my problems and also helping me to get a new job. Really must thanks her for all the things she has done for me.
And thanks Han for the wallet you give me as a christmas present. I really like it and kept using it happily. Something that I've been really needed it for quite awhile.
But I would say most are the good things. =) 2007 has been a pretty good year than I thought it would.
I had a new job at a new work place.
Really have some touching moments in 2007 by some of my good friends. =)
Manage to pass 1 semester successfully with a distinction in 1 subject.
My Singapore citizenship has been approved.
I was actually feeling kind of down at the start of 2007. And my good friend Raja was kept asking me back then what new year resolution I would made for 2007. I told him I just don't wish to expect anything out of it and feeling so exhausted trying to achieve the goals that I'm setting for myself. I've been tired of setting goals and trying so hard to achieve from years to years. At least I am quite happy with whatever outcome I get from year 2007. Really a good year. =)
Here I'm now at 2008 and I wouldn't write down every single things I wanna achieve as new year resolution for this year anyway. But well, roughly I know what I want and most probably may be I could achieve some of it at the end of 2008.
And 2 things I will try to keep track for the whole of 2008.
My health and exercise
And the way I spend.
Since I've learnt quite a bit of economics. Now I promise myself I will try to make good use of my money and try to make more earning than spending.
For year 2007, I think I shall personally thanks a friend as well. Thanks Sheralyn for helping me out with my problems and also helping me to get a new job. Really must thanks her for all the things she has done for me.
And thanks Han for the wallet you give me as a christmas present. I really like it and kept using it happily. Something that I've been really needed it for quite awhile.
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